Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Welcome to Titland

Clara is the star of the show these days, and my breasts are the all-important supporting players. They are still tired and sore, and Clara wants nothing more than to gum them all day every day. Often she's not even eating; she just wants to suck on them for comfort. Although she is healthy, she is not gaining weight quickly enough to suit the midwives, and so they've got me back on four doses a day of fenugreek and blessed thistle. On Monday she was 7 pounds, 11 ounces; they were hoping for 7lbs 15oz. (7lbs 11oz is still much better than 6lbs 4oz, which was her lowest weight [and still an ounce and a half heavier than I was at birth].) Breastfed babies often take longer to gain weight, but are far less likely to become obese later in their lives.

She is a great baby, minimally fussy. When she does fuss, she wants to be fed or changed or picked up and held, or she wants a finger in her mouth. (We tried a pacifier. "PIH!" said Clara as she spat it out. Oh well.) She has been to two Movies for Mommies so far: last week's The Prestige and this week's Little Miss Sunshine. It has been many, many years since I saw two movies in movie theatres in such quick succession. Clara was wonderful: fed or slept straight through, both times. Bless her. Today I was practically giddy at having gotten out of the house with her all on my own. I'm mobile again! Hooray! Calloo callay!

Martha likes to sit on my lap pressed up against Clara as I feed her. Charlotte has finally, four weeks later, started to sleep on our bed again. She still doesn't like the baby, but she's seeming a little less freaked by the idea.

Mr. K has Clara in the sling right now, and she is sucking his finger for dear life. So I need to get some dinner together for him. Two nights ago I made a massive pad Thai (I make fabulous pad Thai, if I do say so myself), and last night we collaborated on a baked pasta dish with cheeses and tomato sauce and ricotta and the rest of the tofu left over from my mother's tofu cheese pie from the weekend. (My mother is a good cook. I wish she'd felt more like cooking while she was here. My dad, bless him, did the dishes several times and cleaned the bathrooms. Hooray for Dad.)

This time is hard, but also very rewarding. My love for Clara is sneaking up on me. I think that if it had hit all at once, my heart might have exploded. Sweet, sweet baby.


Alethea said...

Hi, Emily,

Fellow WW here (class of '92). I saw your comment on Bitch Ph.D. Hang in there. It took me a good six weeks before nursing became comfortable and three months before it was absolutely effortless and on demand. On the other hand, in a couple of weeks (if you can hold on), it's easy enough to introduce a bottle in the middle of the day and give yourself a rest if you still need it by then. Also, the gumming IMHO leads directly to not needing a pacifier later; at least, it was like that for my two children. Our 2nd kid had lots of operations in her first year and the hospital insisted we introduce one (she needed her comfort where she could get it); it took us four more years to eliminate it after that. I got a lot of support online during these early years and I do promise you, it will get a lot easier and you will become the woman you remember having been, once again. You'll find your familiar self, just with more experience.

Kim said...

I had my first daughter with the help of midwives and about 4 months ago gave birth to twin girls. I was wondering what the fenugreek and blessed thistle do for you. I'm nursing the twins and while they have gained weight well so far, I get horribly anxious before taking them to the doctor.